It's Okay
by blue sakuras
Summary: Sango can't take it anymore, but will Miroku be able to console her? MirSan ((warning: language)) [[a two chapter one-shot]]
1. For Sango

_I've been living in this dream  
in this endless nightmare  
waiting for the night to come  
and take my sight from me_

_you can't possibly know how much it hurts  
and how much it tears me apart  
everyday when i come home  
to see this all come to a start_

_it hurts so bad you can't possibly tell  
although i see your anger  
i cannot control what  
was never intended for me to understand_

_and that is what makes me cry  
makes me rant  
makes me scream  
makes me die_

_i just want to leave it behind  
to wash my tears away  
and i will stand alone in the rain  
to hide my tears from you_

_i will not show you the pain you cause  
i will not show you the hole you tore  
i will only leave when i can  
and leave my_** _last goodbyes..._**

**_

* * *

_**

"I say fuck this world and fuck it good because when I'm done it's dead to you!!!" she screamed. Her words echoed all over the mountains...

and that is what makes me cry  
makes me die

She slunk down and because to cry. Why did everything always have to be so messed up? How could she just be like that? It all hurt so much.. and her head was just too tired to manage anything anymore. "I'm too tired of this... I can't _take_ it anymore..." she sobbed to herself...

i just want to leave it behind  
to wash my tears away

What was the point? Who would care? No one would hear and no one would care...

"Can't take **what** anymore?" a voice called from behind her. Her back stiffened but she did not care. What did it matter to see her cry? Who cared anymore? Who cared if she died?

waiting for the night to come  
and take my sight from me

"Go away you bastard." was all she could manage. It was just so messed up... just so fucking messed up...

and how much it tears me apart  
waiting for the night to come

"Sango - stop it. Don't be like this..." Miroku knelt down beside her and hugged her from behind. "You're making me very worried about you..." Sango could only cry and lean forward, away from his arms. He held her tighter, refusing to let her go.

"I can't take it Miroku I can't take it I can't take it I can't take it... godsdammit I can't fucking take it..." she sobbed, rocking herself backwards. She chanted the words with a burning fervor and tears were splashing onto Miroku's sleeves.

"It's okay Sango.. just calm down..."

i cannot control what  
was never intended for me to understand

"I can't fucking calm down and don't fucking tell me everything's fucking fine dammit! I just watched him **_die_** Miroku! My last blood and kin! I **let** him die. I stood there and did _nothing_. Don't fucking tell me everything's fine. DAMMIT MIROKU." Sango wretched herself away from him and stood up. Miroku was quick to fall in by her side as she began the walk down the mountain.

"Sango - don't be so frustrating! Yes, Kohaku is dead but wasn't he already? You were holding out for some last hope, some sliver of hope and you knew in the end he couldn't have possibly - " and that was where he cut off, as Sango twirled around in rage and smacked him on his cheek.

"Sango!" he gasped.

i cannot control what  
was never intended for me to understand

"Shut up Miroku! Shut the hell up! I am not going to sit here and just fucking listen to this drivel that you're spouting. My god, you don't even tell the truth half the time!"

"Sango..." he began, a hurt look shining in his eyes, "I don't believe that you're in a right state of mind right now and I think you should - Sango! Wait!" Sango began to run down the mountain at a hazardous rate.

Miroku was quick to get up and pursue her but he knew that at the rate she was at, and the anger she was feeling and that was powering her, there was no way in hell that he was going to catch up.

it hurts so bad i can't possibly tell  
but i see your anger

---

Sango panted and stopped when she reached a river in the midst of a forest. She sat and began to catch her breath and had just realized what she had done. "Gods... dammit..." she breathed. Why did all this have to happen to _her_? Why couldn't it happen to some other wretched bitch that was placed on this horrible world?

in this endless nightmare  
and leave my** _last goodbyes..._**

She had killed her brother, deserted her friends... even Kirara, who had been with her through the hardest times... and now she just shoved aside Miroku, who had tracked her done, and ran off. Gods... it was just too much. She sat there, crying her heart out, and she just couldn't understand...

waiting for the night to come  
and take my sight from me

She suddenly gave a harsh laugh. "I say this and I'll say it again.. fuck this world and fuck it good because when I'm through with it it'll be DEAD to you..."

"Sango!" Miroku burst through a group of bushes and knelt down for breath next to her. "You really shouldn't say such a horrible thing..." he scolded her, with a smile playing on his eyes.

She turned her back on him and sighed. Bowing her head and covering her eyes with her hand she began to talk. "No no no no no... Miroku... no. I can't take it. Gods I can't take it. Do you know how hard it is for me?"

Miroku shook his head. "No - but I will never even begin to fathom how hard it is if you don't _calm down_ and stop this nonsense. Sango, we all miss you and want you to come back. Please don't disappoint them Sango. Please don't disappoint me..." Sango turned to face him and gave him a complete look of disbelief.

i will only leave when i can  
and leave my last goodbyes...

"There is _no fucking way_ I will do that." her voice broke and she began to cry again. Miroku sighed and moved in closer to her. He grabbed her from behind and wrapped him arms around her.

it hurts so bad you can't possibly tell  
i just want to leave it behind

"I'm not letting you go Sango. Just calm down and everything will be alright." Sango stiffened and Miroku tightened his grip, making sure he wasn't hurting her in the process.

"I wish... I wish that you would stop saying that Miroku..." she whispered, bowing her head forward.

you can't possibly know how much it hurts  
and how much it tears me apart

"Why? It's alright? Everything's going to be okay? Sango, it will be. It will be alright in the end." Miroku's words sounded desperate, as if he were hanging on a last strand of hope.

"And if it's not alright… Miroku, what then?" Sango's words were heavy with pain and she sounded as if she just wanted to get away from it.

i just want to leave it behind  
and i will stand alone in the rain

"Well, if it isn't alright Sango, then frankly, it's not the end. It's always alright in the end… I promise you that." He whispered, nuzzling his head so it was next to hers.

waiting for the night to come  
i just want to leave it behind

"Miroku…" she gasped and turned, hugging him tight. Startled by this, Miroku fell back, but thrust out his hands and supported himself with it. And there they were, Sango holding onto her last life line, crying as Miroku held onto her.

_i just want to leave it behind  
to wash my tears away_

_

* * *

_

AN: Okay. Another two-chapter one-shot... hm. copyright poem to me and i don't own Inuyasha and all that good stuff... blah blah blah.... Oh and don't tell me Sango wouldn't do this please.. just humor me... I don't think she could handle it calmly and so yah. Written on a mood of pissed off ness and I got mellower as I wrote... does it show?


	2. For Miroku

**_For Miroku..._**

_Those tears you shed will be in vain  
as I shield you from the pain  
and I promise to be here forever  
and never cause you to hurt anymore_

_Those hurtful words that were sent your way  
are nothing more than painful illusions  
from the hate from the hearts of evil  
and Ishall take the wounds and make them go away_

___I shall be there for you when  
__they lash their whips  
so beware the poison that sprays  
and hide your fears and anger_

_they may trick  
they may lie  
but what their hearts  
say will be revealed by I_

_so do not worry  
do not fret  
I will be their undoing  
so that you may rest_

**It's Okay**

**Part Two of Two**

**_For Sango..._**

_I cannot live  
like this any longer.  
I cannot.  
I cannot. _

You shake your head  
as if it is not true.  
But I cannot.  
I cannot.

I tell you to  
please hear me out.  
You cannot.  
You will not.

I turn away with  
tears to shed.  
I cannot.  
I shall not.

You do not believe me  
when I say it.  
I cannot.  
I cannot.

I cannot stay  
here in paradise  
with you because  
he has trapped my soul  
and with him I shall have to stay.

So please do not  
tell me to stay.  
It is not my choice.  
Alas, I cannot.

I cannot.  
I cannot.

I cannot leave him there to die  
I have to leave you, please don't cry  
I cannot stay  
I cannot stay

I cannot  
I cannot  
I cannot.

* * *

As Sango sat by the fire, she watched the flames dance. 

_I cannot leave him there to die  
I have to leave you, please don't cry_

Why did it have to be so hard? She had just thought of something she might be able to do... some last sliver of hope... no! She wasn't going to think about it like that. Think positive. Sesshoumaru would be more than willing if she bribed him with something he wanted.

_I cannot stay  
with you because_

...why? Why did it have to be a choice? Miroku or Kohaku?

...Miroku... Kohaku...

_I cannot live  
like this any longer._

The names echoed in her head and she groaned in frustration. Miroku chose then to return from gathering more firewood. "Are you alright?" he asked quietly, kneeling down by the fire to tend to it. Sango drew her knees to her and bowed her head while shaking it. Knowing better, Miroku set himself to roasting their dinner of the evening. Sango sat there in a small little bundle as she thought her choices over. _It's obvious what my choices are. I just need to know. This is still so messed up. _She couldn't possibly do this.

_and I promise to be here forever  
and never cause you to hurt anymore_

It was as if she would be killing Kohaku all over again if she chose to stay with Miroku and just let things be.

_I cannot.  
I shall not._

She could never just leave Miroku like that. Out of the whole group.. out of Shippou.. Inuyasha... Kagome... Kaede even... Miroku was always the one who could cheer her up no matter what. She was indebted to all her friends, dear as they were to her.

_I tell you to  
please hear me out._

It was just that... he was her _brother_. Her last blood. She had been with him, known him, grown _up_ with him since the day he was born. It was just not _right_. Damn Naraku... damn him into the seven hells.

_he has trapped my soul  
and with him I shall have to stay_

Only what could she do now, out of all the times she could have been mourning? Naraku was buried, long dead. But he had taken Kohaku with her. Even if she went and saved him. Even if she went and dug up his bones... she would still be haunted by him... _his death_... his hand reaching out and calling out for her one _last time_... "Onee-chan..."

Sango snapped up. "What?" Miroku turned and looked at her, sparing a moment to reflect on her and not the food he was handling.

"Isn't that what he called you Sango? Onee-chan?" Miroku nodded, as if answering his own question. He turned back to the fire, tending to it. Nurturing it. "I think... you should stop dwelling on this Sango..."

_Those hurtful words that were sent your way  
are nothing more than painful illusions_

Sango slowly slid her legs down, and sat in a more relaxed position, although she still kept her hands wrapped around herself, as if to protect herself from any invisible pain. Perhaps she should listen to Miroku... maybe... he could _heal_ her mind... she must be going insane right now... thinking such _horrid horrid _thoughts...

_I shall take the wounds and make them go away  
__I shall be there for you_

"I think that... Sango, you need to stop blaming yourself. Naraku was an arrogant asshole and he deserved nothing more than the fiery death we gave him." Miroku's tone changed. It became more rugged, more harsh. "Naraku's death was too good for him. We should have made him suffer."

"Miroku..." she breathed. How could she have been so blinded by anger? How could she have forgotten? She had been inflicted the pain upon one generation of her family... and yet.. Miroku's had been cursed with anguish for three. His father, and his father's father both fell under the same curse that Naraku had so cruelly inflicted upon them... and here he was... having been rejoicing that he was _free_... while she sunk into her gloom and tore his heart apart. Hadn't she promised to be with him? How could she have forgotten? It was not all about her... it wasn't.

_so beware the poison that sprays  
and hide your fears and anger_

She began to cry again. Miroku turned away from the fire and rushed to her side. "What's wrong Sango?"

"I'm sorry, oh gods Miroku I'm so so so sorry..." she sobbed, and threw her arms around him. She clung to him, crying until she could no longer cry. She gently loosened the hold on him, and looked at his face. Miroku seemed worried, anxious. All for her? _Her_?

_Those tears you shed will be in vain  
as I shield you from the pain_

"Sango, please stop all this crying. It really isn't like you. And this hugging? What? _You_?? Initiating physical contact that does not involve my pain?" Miroku said with a tease in his voice. Sango smiled, a small smile and her tear streaked face shone from it. "There, that's better. See? Now all I have to do is lower my hand and all is - "

"Miroku..." Sango's smile drooped and disappeared. "I want to... talk..."

"Yes?" Miroku prompted her as she fell into silence. She looked at him, with sad sad eyes, and shook her head. "It's alright Sango. Sometimes it's just too hard to say anything..." Miroku's tone was soft, almost gentle. "I just wanted to say that at least something good came out of this."

_I will be their undoing  
so that you may rest_

Sango's forehead furrowed. "And what is that?"

"We're closer than before. I am truly thankful for that Sango, I truly am. Sango...?" Miroku craned his head to see the look on Sango's face. It was not good. Her body was shaking and it seemed she was extremely happy. Or angry. Whichever, she was reacting very oddly to it.

"How... how can you say something like that?" she hissed, her tone full of anguish. She began to stand up, and when she did, her back was stiff and her arms were at her side, her hands clenched into fists.

_I cannot.  
I shall not._

Miroku quickly stood up and stood close to Sango. "Heyy - please. Sango, don't be like this. You take everything I'm saying wrong."

"Because everything you're saying **_is_**!!" she snapped. She softened her eyes slightly, seeing the hurt look in Miroku's expression. "Look - you don't understand!"

_You do not believe me  
when I say it._

"I know. Let me try. Let me try and see what you're feeling Sango. I want to be there and help you but I can't if you won't let me." he sighed, and sat down on a tree stump.

"Miroku- you don't. You _can't_. You wouldn't. My brother- my last _kin - _is dead. I can't have the peace of knowing I avenged his death. I can't have the peace of knowing his grave is somewhere. I can't even have the fucking peace of scattering his ashes in the ocean!!" she stamped her foot for emphasis, but sighed and sat down next to him, tucking her knees in under her chin.

_I have to leave you, please don't cry_

Miroku turned his head to face her. "I know... I can't possibly know that feeling. I mean, having my father sucked into his _own cursed hand_ could have not given me any feelings like that."

_Those tears you shed will be in vain  
as I shield you from the pain_

Sango turned and faced him. "Oh Miroku.. it's not that... it isn't."

"I know it isn't Sango. I just want you to know that you aren't alone. I will be here for you. Always." Sango looked at him with hopeful eyes.

"Promise?" she whispered. He nodded and she smiled, the left side of her smile trembling slightly. "Thank you..." and she leaned over and embraced him with her arms. Startled, Miroku shot out his arm to support himself with but used his other, and willing, arm to hug her back.

_and I promise to be here forever  
and never cause you to hurt anymore_

"See... I told you everything would be okay. So I'm going to say it again..."

"It's okay..." Sango finished for him, hugging him tighter. "I know. As long as you're with me... it will all be okay..."

_so do not worry  
do not fret  
I will be their undoing  
so that you may rest_

* * *

AN: I'm not so used to doing Sango and Miroku romances, let alone leave it into a one-shot so I think this was okay... I'm happy with it... sorta. 

My aunt died today... this is in dedication to her... RIP... it's so sad... my uncle refuses to sit down and rest, because he's blaming himself for falling asleep. before she died she said, "go to sleep, get some rest. you're the best husband in the world" and so he did. and she died... it puts a whole new perspective on death, when somone you know dies... everything changes.

**ps...**i'm sorry if any of this is a bit choppy. i'm not in the mood to edit right now. really. i'm not.


End file.
